I need a girlfriend...

So, you'll never believe this. I didn't get a wink of sleep last night after the strip club. My roommate Kelly, brought home a stripper. One of his friends he says. Damnit that guy. Anyways, all night, no kidding, walls pounding and screaming. I thought there was an exorcism going on. So, I got up out of bed half drunk, knocked on Kelly's room to tell him to SHUT UP and this lady walks out with a whip and a dominatrix outfit. I almost pooped in my pants. She told me that I was next if I didn't leave.

What do you say to that? I know what I would say now. That's the last time I go to strip club with Kelly. Or at all. Gotta go get some Captain Crunch at Ralphs.